NO SHIT MAN!!!
Finally, someone who agrees with me!!!
joking about it lighten the mood-I mean come on...pre-paralysis I made fun of myself all the time, what's the diff????

Here's one (I am a crip; this was told to me by a blind guy, and every blind person I've ever told it to liked it) --Ann S.

We're on a plane ready to take off, everyone in their seats, but the pilot hasn't come aboard. At last 2 men come up through the cabin. One is using a white cane, and the other has a guide dog. A buzz of questions--those can't be the pilots, can they? But they disappear into the control room. The flight attendants seem calm; it must be some kind of joke.

The plane taxis out onto the runway, straightens out, begins to gather speed. The engines roar, it goes fast and faster, but it doesn't leave the ground. It's hurtling toward the end of the runway! the passengers scream in terror! ...and the plane lifts off, just clears the fence, and tilts up into the sky.

In the cabin the passengers settle back in relief, but up in the cockpit one pilot grumbles to the other. "I don't know, Mac, one of these days they're not going to yell in time."

You must have heard of the two sailors in a bar, one of whom has a wooden leg, a hook, and a patch on one eye. The other, once they’d had some rum, asked how he’d lost his leg, and was told how a shark had bitten it off. And what about his hand? That had been chopped off in a sabre battle, a pirate attack.
“And what happened to your eye?”
“Oh, that was a seagull crapping on me.”
“Seagull shit put out your eye?”
“It was right after I got the hook…”

Now that I am done cooking the vegetables, what do I do with all these wheelchairs?

Hire the handicapped, they are fun to watch!

When I became a gimp, I was given a companion dog. I lived in an apartment building and across the hall from me lived a real ass!
I heard him throw his gf against a wall calling her stupid etc... a really piece of work this one was..
I took my companion out for a potty break and we met the jerk coming in the building. Her hair stood up on her back and she started growling at him. he said "Whats wrong with her??" I do not know? normally she loves the smell of assholes...... and we continued out of the building.
They moved at the first of the month. God I love this animal. :D